The Age Old Question

Like many of you I played this game as a kid and had no idea what I was doing, maybe having 20 villagers and clicking castle at 45 min versus the easiest AI. Then I found HD and started getting interested in how to actually play the game efficiently. So I learned some basic build orders and that's enough to win versus 16xx shitters on HD but that's just from pure advantage of constant vil creation and resource priority.

There is however no flexibility at all in my plays. If I start on one build order I find it very difficult to switch my game up and adapt to the situation, which tells me I'm not actually decent at the game except for one specific build order. Almost always I manage to build a nice eco but then I forget about military and end up as just a nice big town for the enemy to destroy or I focus too much on military and end up with a pathetic eco and uptimes.

I'm guessing most of you are tired of having to tell people to git gud but if I suck at the game there is no way I will ever be able to tell what I'm doing wrong since all I see is randomness in what my enemy and me just happened to do a specific game and how it played into each other.

TL;DR Is there a way to actually analyze your games and see what you did wrong so you can improve on that or would I need to hire a coach? Which I would never do btw I just wanna git gud