Featured Units The Gendarme, the guard upgrade version of the French Curassier, is the best heavy cavalry in the game. But the 18th century is an infantryman's world. And the mighty Black Watch is waiting for them.
May 11, 1745
The King of France is surrounded.
To one side, the fortified town of Tournai, bristling with enemy forces. To the other, a British, Dutch, Hanoverian and Austrian force that have yet to lose a battle, ready to strike. The French soldiers know that their record against the British in battle this century isn't great. They've yet to win.
The King looks at his commander, the sickly Marshal Saxe. Saxe smiles.
Everything was going according to plan.
Background
The War of Austrian Succession is as tedious as it is complicated. TL;DR a dude died and now all of Europe is at each other's throats. It's like my family at Thanksgiving dinner. The French are in uncharted territory, fighting their first major war after the death of their iconic monarch, Louis XIV. The predictably named Louis XV has come to oversee his army and finish what his great grandfather started.
Marshal Saxe got things rolling with a false attack at Mons, which the allied army (also called the "Pragmatic Army" but that's just being silly) bought hook line and sinker. The real target was Tournai.
Well actually the real real target was the Allied Army.
Marshal Saxe knew the route that his enemies would have to take to backtrack from Mons to Tournai. He anticipated exactly where they would show up and the order in which they would be arranged. And yes, they would be the toughest army in the world. Yes, the Brits had spent that 1k food at their church and spearheaded their army with the fearsome Black Watch, but he knew exactly what they were about to do.
And exactly how to stop it.
War is for Gentlemen
Specifically, Saxe knew that the British forces would take the right and center wing of the Allied Army, because that is where the elite and more important soldiers went. The Hanoverians would join them there. The Dutch would take the less honorable position on the left, and the Austrians, at only 2,000 men, would probably be interspersed throughout rather than take a flank to themselves.
Saxe had no patience for tradition. Ignoring the protestations from some of the King's advisors, who suggested his plan was cowardly, the French dug in, forming an L-shaped trench in the countryside. Outside the earthworks, companies of elite skirmishers hid in the woods, and the bulk of the French army arranged themselves in a line in front. No matter where the Allies struck, they would meet defensive fire from two sides. A hundred thousand men now converged a village in Belgium.
Twenty thousand were about to fall.
False Start, Offense
The first sign that things may not go terribly well for the British is when 800 French skirmishers hiding in trees held up a 50,000 man army.
Their commander, Prince William, Duke of Cumberland, was young, brave, and, at least at this point in his career, completely inept. What was intended to be a minor irritation slowing the British advance brought their whole plan to a halt, as William's junior commanders (and pub buddies) wrongly estimated there to be thousands of Frenchmen in the woods, as opposed to 800. Prince William overcompensated, ordering 3 cannons to be brought to the front to fire into the trees.
The skirmishers probably chuckled as they pulled back to safety.
Meanwhile, the Dutch thought that the sound of cannons attacking the French center meant go time.
The armies were supposed to coordinate their attacks, and the attacks were supposed to begin around 9 in the morning. It was past 9 now, and so when the Dutch saw cannonfire coming from their side of the field they did their part and charged.
The French were probably a little confused, but they shot at the charging Tulip-growers from two angles and beat them back. The Dutch, to their credit, did not want to be the weak link ruining the allied assault, and so they regrouped and charged the French trenches again. Again, the French wondered what the hell kind of moronic strategy the allies were doing, and this time when the Dutch were slaughtered they retreated and did not return.
One army down, three to go.
No Please, After You
Okay so this is where the main battle happens but before we get to that I just have to recap one of the most bizarre moments of, well, anything ever. And it probably didn't happen, because it's just ludicrous, but Voltaire's the one who first told the story, and Voltaire can't be wrong, can he?
So apparently, as the British column got within musket (and ear) range of the French line, one of the British commanders walked in front of his army, took a swig from a flask, and said, paraphrasing, "Britain does not shoot first. We command you to fire."
To which a French officer responded by walking out in front of his army and saying "nah uh you shoot first."
And then the French line fired.
Black Watch vs Gendarmes
...aaaaaaaand they missed.
The British all dropped to their stomachs, except for another officer, who later said he was too fat for it and was afraid he wouldn't be able to get back up again. (This battle is weird guys.) The French fire sailed over their heads and before they could reload, the fiercest fighting force in the world charged across the fields of Fontenoy and broke their ranks.
The Black Watch were ruthlessly effective. All that planning, all that strategy from Saxe was now about to be undone by sheer brute force. The British now formed a dense column and pushed forwards, trying to pierce the French defense at the center, and in an instant turning the tides of battle. The French broke but did not flee, they fell back to their second line of defense.
The cavalry.
So pretty much anyone who's played AOE3 knows that cavalry charging heavy infantry is idiotic. And make no mistake, this was not a good battle to be a French cavalryman. At least, if you wanted to make it out alive. But the center was collapsing. Saxe was rallying reinforcements from his flanks and surrounding towns, (including the famous Richelieu regiment) but their support would mean nothing if the center fell right here.
They had no choice. The French cavalry charged. It was at this, the most desperate point in the battle, where King Louis's advisor's told him that the day was lost, and to flee the scene before the British could capture him.
Marshal Saxe was defiant. He pleaded his case to the King.
"We must all conquer or die together!"
Meanwhile, the Gendarmes charged time and time again at the British square. They took heavy losses, (one company began the day with 140 men and ended with 14) but their tenacity stopped the British advance. They were forced to stay in the center of the field, exposed to French artillery and musket fire at the same time as having to deal with the never-ending waves of cavalry. Bit by bit, man by man, they were worn down. Now all the guns that had been occupied by the Dutch were trained upon the British army. The further they advanced, the more surrounded they became.
Unstoppable force, meet the immovable wall.
O'Really?
The French made up the vast majority of the defendants at Fontenoy, but they were not alone. Joining them was the Irish Brigade, a company of soldiers from the one place on earth that hates Britain more than France.
They valiantly charged the British column at the critical moment, doing their part to aid in the French counter attack. The Irish Brigade would take the heaviest losses of any regiment during the battle, but they would do their job. Their attack broke the morale of Britain's most elite soldiers.
Final Victory and Aftermath
Richelieu arrived in time to continue the counter attack, and his cavalry met the British army with more success. Surrounded on all sides by death, broken and exhausted, the British army was forced to withdraw shortly after their arrival on the scene. But do not mistake their retreat for a rout. They remained organized, and conducted a fighting withdrawal out of Fontenoy.
The French let them. They had their victory. Now it was time to count their dead.
Fontenoy showed that the British were not invincible. The War of Austrian Succession would go on, and the French would win. At least, as much as a nation can win one of these things. They would knock the British from their throne as the premier land power in Europe, and begin a narrative that would continue well into the next century.
It's France vs the World, baby. And France is winning.
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