Why do I suck at total war Soo much?

I remember when my brother-in law first showed me age of empires, that was my gateway drug to the world of strategy pc games, I've played a 4 hour campaign with him in that AOE3 Amazon map, I like to think that to this day people still sing songs about that glorious final skirmish. I love civ series (go nuke your mom Gandhi, leave my beautiful cultural cities alone), the old tycoon games, sim city 4, even cities skylines. Remember battle for the middle earth series? Some times I still scream "BUILD" like that Isengard constructor for no reason at all.

Soo I must enjoy total war right? is the perfect crossover between AOE and civ right? Right guys!!!? Why do I suck Soo hard at it? I lowered my self to play on easy mod just to enjoy one single campaign story but couldn't take the humiliation.

I write for you all today so I can take this weight off my soul, have you ever been trough something like that? Like with other games? I can't be the only one.