The monumental impact this game has had on me and my Dad

I dont have anyone to share this with who would care or understand, so I thought I would post here. I grew up playing this game with my dad. He had me playing when I was early as 5 years old I think, even though I didnt know what the hell I was doing. I remember so often coming home from school and him playing this game 5-10pm so often (he was a pretty high level white collar executive, which makes this more amusing now looking back). It was funny how addicted we both got, because it made my mom mad, and she was the fool who had mistakenly given my dad the first AoE as a present. My dad was by no means amazing at the game, but he just loved the strategy, and he loved the monks. I still dont know why, and whenever we played against each other ( a lot), I usually could win by mass producing paladins. Still, up until he got sick, we both played together, whether teaming up on six AI's, or going head on head.

When my Dad got early onset alzheimers, we moved and weren't able to play for about a year because of other things going on. (I was in high school) I was in huge denial about it until we finally got around to playing head to head again, 1 v 1. He was terrible. I easily destroyed him. I tried refreshing him the techniques and everything, but to no avail . I was so frustrated, I left him despite his pleading to "come back and keep playing with me." This past Thanksgiving, he finally died after not been able to communicate or do anything in about a year. I come back to this moment and feel so terrible every time. Despite the fact, I am so grateful for this game as weirdly pathetic as it may be. It only cemented my already spectacular relationship with him, and made my childhood so much better. I hope some of you have had similar experiences, because even though I'll never be able to play or see my dad again, I still have this game.