Multiplayer Issues Help

Hi all, Need some assistance!

Not sure if i am being an idiot or not - just bought AOE DE and want to play multiplayer however, both multiplayer and LAN options are greyed out, so i cant click them and when i click view xbox live profile nothing happens. Support says "Launch the Xbox App prior to launching the game, and ensure that your profile signs into Xbox Live without issue. If you can’t sign in to Xbox Live, contact Xbox Live support." - i have the xbox companion app open and then i'm launching the game from steam and still no luck!

Any ideas??