I can't get over my 1v1 anxiety, please, somebody kick my butt.

I have never really played PvP before, let alone actually tried to get good at it. I'm currently just below 1k.

I still make mistakes while being pressured, but that's precisely why I adapted one of the earliest aggression builds possible (18 Pop Lithuanian Scouts) and can even still pull it off on Crater despite the missing boar. I normally should make Feudal before most opponents at my level even click up, so on that map specifically, I should have a massive advantage.

I have 0 TC idle until Castle Age most of the time, and I received compliments for my Scout Micro from players way stronger than me. I always get the pressure up.

Yet when it comes to joining the Queue, I am just too afraid to even click the button. I know I take it too seriously, and once the game starts, win or lose, I thoroughly enjoy it, but there's some part of my mind that just stops me from even playing. Heck, I play a lot of team games lately, there I feel relaxed, but I don't enjoy them as much as 1v1s. It makes no sense to me.

I think I just need someone to get me to stop making excuses and play. But this stupid anxiety is just paralyzing for me at the moment.