I want to play multiplayer but I'm deathly afraid

I used to play Aoe2 long, long ago and it was one of my favorite games. I just got the DE edition and I love the new graphics and all the new civs and quality of life changes. I would also really love to play multiplayer BUT I'm really bad at the game. I can beat the moderate AI but the hard AI kicks my ass.

So I thought I'd try to get better before playing online but then I watched a few T90 Low ELO legends videos and some of those guys were making massive mistakes that even I didn't make. So I thought hey, maybe I can play online. I queued up, got matched as Berbers against a Goths player and got my ass kicked in like 10 minutes. I had barely gotten to Feudal Age when swarm after swarm of man-at-arms began to overwhelm my base. My plan was to rush to Castle Age and get knights but couldn't even make it there. Needless to say, I resigned almost immediately. I checked my opponent's player profile and he was a beginner like me. And he kicked my ass effortlessly. Now it's like I have PTSD. I want to play online but I get anxious whenever I see the multiplayer menu.

To make a long story short, as someone who can't beat the hard AI, should I just stop trying to play online? What skill level do I need to play online? I don't want to climb high on the leaderboards or anything, just have fun and play casually against others. But I also realize that if I'm an extreme noob and everyone else is at least competent, it's not going to be very fun for me.

I guess my question is, when exactly should I start playing online?