How to enjoy this game?

I started playing Age2 this year after my best friend suggested it to me, for multiplayer because he lives halfway across the world. I never played this, or any in the series, ever before. I have played factorio and I love that game. So I gave this a try.

I beat him repeatedly. He is by no means competitive and just wanted to revisit the nostalgia. However, I played just to win. And then he stopped playing with me because his life got busy. So I tried multiplayer lobbies and just what in tarnation is that gameplay?!!?

I watched Spirit of the law, Hera videos and I thought I was prepared. I even occassionally looked around this sub to get more info. I can get to 18 villagers and progress to next age in 12 minutes but after that, the opponents grow exponentially and I don't. Now, I know I have to play 10 or so matches for proper matchmaking experience. And I did that. But I'm getting my ass handed to me over and over again. And that, certainly, is not enjoyable. I'm not a sore loser but after a losing streak, I felt like uninstalling.

I can't enjoy this game if I don't get better at it. And I can't get better because the current gameplay is not enjoyable for me to even try and push to win.

Help?