Unacceptable! AI should use cheats!!! PATCH NOW!

To any modders or important people with influence: Why is the new hardest AI such a half-baked pushover? It should just start spamming photonmen, cobra cars and flying shark-cats when it's about to lose. It's 2020. What kind of pathetic honorable AI is this? Honestly. Have the developers been sleeping for 21 years?

Bestselling Romantic Scifi right here.

"Who the hell asked for a Steppe Lancer nerf? Buff Cobracar." - Boar Luring Villager Dave

Clearly the AI programmers lack imagination or are busy drinking water at a coffeeshop. A truly advanced and humanlike AI will use every tool at its disposal when it gets competitively salty. We are clearly still 10 years behind when our AI overlords can't even spite and troll us.

"AOE:DE AI Extreme x6? HAHAHAHA. Pathetique. Mon chien est meilleur que ca." - Maréchal Phillipe "Stereotype Francophone" Pétain

I'd also like to suggest the AI learn how to properly use chat. Please at least give our AIs the ability to randomly fake "gg"s or spam Hal9000 statements to psychologically undermine the player's concentration. If the player is spamming cheat codes, the AI should spam them back. Hell, the AI should get to spam-ping the minimap. A truly advanced AI should replace unit dying sounds with babies dying or cats in heat - anything to disarm the player either with horror or laughter. Alternatively, why not have the hardest AIs summon endless petards if players cheats? If a player wants to up their game, the AI shouldn't be held back when its cornered. There ain't no catharsis if the AI doesn't sass you back.

Cheating is fun - especially when you're the victim.

"If y'all gonna corner the AI, y'all must prepare for the cage fight." -Sun Tzu

Finally, a truly advanced AI would crash your computer in spite - or at least disconnect itself and drop the game after disrespecting you with some trashtalk. Maybe it should spam sheep at you just to body block you from an inevitable cheaty victory. How can we be immersed in competitive medieval history if the William Wallace AI doesn't spam sheep and pikemen?

Fellow loyal consumers: you deserve better! You have suffered the ridiculous imbalances and nerfing of your favorite civilizations for far too long! NOW IS THE TIME! RISE! Demand they HOTFIX THIS PUSHOVER AI! You paid for a Definitive Edition after 21 years. Demand a "DEFINITIVE AI that can cheat and troll."

"No war was ever won without trashtalking some Microsoft engineers." -William "Sun Tzu" Wallace.

If you want to see change in this world, start with yourself: Retweet and make some memes. I shall lead by example:

WOLOLO