I suck

Headline says it all. I’m so frustrated with this game. I’ve been playing for decades... and I can’t seem to ever get to 1000 elo or even a mediocre win/loss ratio of 50/50. I’ve walked away from the game in the past because of this same embarrassment... and idk what to do.

If I play greedy and aggressive I don’t have an economy to sustain it. If I play conservative I get steam rolled. If I change to a different civ i either fumble around to no effect, or they have counters waiting for me. How the fuck is everyone on ranked so competitive and competent that I feel like a child that can’t even handle normal AI?

I watch t90, viper, and spirit to try and pick up new tips or insight... and idk... I still rage quit every time i get raided. Even if I stubbornly hold on and try to scramble anywhere I can it just leaves me more and more frustrated with the game.

Team games are even worse. Either I feel like a potato cuz everyone else is carrying me, or in the rare instances where I am in the lead I can’t seem to break an opponent on my own.

For a while I would practice with my brother (he’s better than me) but we had a falling out and he doesn’t play anymore.

I don’t even want help or tips anymore. I just wish I could forget about the game and move on to something I can feel good about.