How not to tilt in AOE:DE

Hello!
So, as I kid I used to love playing AOE with friends. We banned trebuchets (cuz you know, shit is op & unfair :D) and used to have a treaty to not attack until we reach full pop. Weird, you might think but now, almost 2 decades after I got a perspective onto the game. I love to see well executed strats and to play it more competetive.
But there is my problem and I would like to hear your suggestions on how to deal with that. I have played 200+ games and I swear I've never face a player worse than me (Not even once!). If I win, thats because one of my friends is a nerd. This game just causes me such irrational anger - I fail a quick wall my mental goes nuts. I catch a nice mangonel shot - I´m out. Someones placing a beatiful castle right next to my gold - I´d like to throw out my PC. Im not toxic and in other games my mental is the exact opposite of this and I dont know what it is with AOE that just hurts me so so much.

Do any of you have some advice how to keep motivated if you strats dont pay of immediatly or if you´re under high pressure in AOE? Is is just the experience that you know on how to react to certain actions or what? I dont get it, I want to play it and have fun but instead I just get super super angry :D