[Shitpost] Upcoming major AoE2: DE Tournament: Auto Scouting Cup

hi guys

so as you know trump just signed yang bucks into law so im gonna get 12 grand from the irs next month and i want to use it to host another big-money age of empires two: Definitive Edition experts tournament

i introduce to you: the auto scouting cup, featuring the top 16 players in the world

so first off the most important part, the prize pool, the $12k will be split like this

TheViper: $4k

2nd place: $3k

3rd/4th place: $2k each

quarterfinalist failures: $250 each

overlay guy: exposure

sound good so far? you ain’t seen nothin yet kiddo

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so next off

match rules:

· players must start auto scouting within 10 seconds of every game start and never disable it or else their opponent gets three cobra cars starting in feudal age

· all matches are best of 5

· laming is allowed provided it is done by men-at-arms with +2 armor

· standard victory, 90 minute treaty

· loser of each match takes a shot, two sips if Tom Brady throws a touchdown pass, finish your drink if you win the grand final

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civ draft rules:

· all civs classified as a “cavalry civilization,” “infantry civilization,” or “archer civilization” are globally banned, any combination thereof is ok except mongols

· starting with the lower seed, players alternate picking civs for their opponent’s pool until all civs are depleted

· each player is randomly assigned 5 civs from their pool based on various hash operations applied to a $3 powerball quick pick

· if the quick pick hits the jackpot players forfeit all winnings as the Tournament Administrator fucks off to the caymans with a prostitute

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map draft rules:

· one global ban per United States Executive Cabinet member in the twitch chat (must be subscribed to t90official to count)

· players each roll 1d20 on their facecam to pick their home map via modulus operation

· taller player picks first

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map pool:

· green arabia

· forest nothing

· forest nothing 7x7

· forest prison with relics

· ancient TD

· snakepit

· william wallace scenario 2

· regicide fortress

· green arabia

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map structure per match:

· game 1: arabia

· game 2: also arabia, but with the 10x civ bonus mod

· game 3: higher seed home map

· game 4: lower seed away map

· game 5: Twitch Plays AoE2:DE

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all games will be played on the eastus3 server (it’s the alienware desktop i left in my mom’s basement in indiana, don’t worry she has comcast so it’ll be really fast)

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be sure to tune in on facebook live memorial day weekend