I can't do it

I just can't play AoE online. I don't have the APM to keep up with even 800 elo matches, and I'm so frustrated cause I love AoE but there's no point in just playing AI all the time... I can't micro, I can't spam units out of a ton of buildings or make tech switches while still fighting... I mess up build orders all the time... I can't even use siege units that aren't trebs properly. I try to use control groups and all but all I'm good at with it is microing monks

Guess I'll stick to single player